The only truth I know
by AnnaNor
Summary: Harry is sure he doesn't know what his future has in store for him. Draco isn't sure about if he can live with the future he knows is coming.
1. 1 September Coming Home

**Chapter 1. September Coming Home**

_Word Count: 2095_

_A/N: The placement of the Slytherin quarters are made with the Hogwarts in the first film, where it's on a rocky hill, right above the lake. The lake surroundings looks just like it does in PoA._

_I have listened to some specific songs and taken inspiration from them while writing this chapter, and I'll do so every chapter. I will inform you which the songs are below, since I think they are important, to be able to get the exact feeling I've been trying to write._

_City and Colour – Coming Home_

_City and Colour – Hello, I'm in Delaware_

_Enjoy._

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><p>As the moon and the sun greeted each other when they met at the horizon, Draco Malfoy woke up in his bed, tangled up in his sheets, almost falling to the floor as he tried to get out of his bed all to quickly<em>.<em> He did not know why he had such a hurry, and he certainly did not think of it until he saw the moon through the high windows of his room. Then he remembered the dream.

He'd been on a crowdy King's Cross Station, entering Platform 9 and ¾ in a hurry, afraid he would miss the train. Just as he ran through the wall and saw the train, it started moving. Parents and siblings were standing too close to the train, waving their children goodbye, for him to get past them and jump on the train. He'd been left behind. He'd missed the train.

Even when thinking about the dream, he could feel his whole body ache from the fear of it coming true. He'd had the same dream before, every year since his second year at Hogwarts.

It was the break of dawn on the first day of September, and he was finally going back.

Of all the beautiful places Draco had been in his life, and they were plenty, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was the one that truly made him feel like he had a place in this world. By now it was more of a home than the Malfoy Mansion, with its numerous unused rooms, one looking just like the other. And they had the tendency of never becoming warm enough. Even in the summer, he'd have to light the fireplace in his room so he wouldn't wake up, shaking in the cold.

He was fully awake now, so he got dressed, warm clothes because he knew he would get cold on the way from his warm room to the kitchen, the only other room that would have a fire going at this hour. It was a walk that led through several floors, corridors and stairs. A stranger would never be able to memorize it the first time. He opened his door, and was greeted by a house elf, about to make his bed and clean his room. His packing though, was something Draco wouldn't let anybody else be in charge of, ever. He wanted everything in a certain order, and he didn't trust anyone to remember everything.

He decided to take the way through his mother's third floor library. It meant that he'd have to extend his rout, but he wanted to pick out one or two books for his train ride. He preferred his mother's library, it was mostly old wizard's tales and travel biographies, many of them several hundred years old. He liked to think thathe would be able to do one himself someday, travel around the world and see what it really had to offer him. Walking between the many rows of oak book shelves, he scanned the titles, many familiarafter searching the shelves over and over again through the years. He decided on a worn, old book about a witch travelling through India in the 17th century.

Finally down in the kitchen, the house elves prepared breakfast as soon as he entered. He preferred having breakfast in the kitchen when he ate by himself. It was a relatively small room and it made him feel less alone. He ate without haste, reading this morning's The Daily Prophet without really caring about what it actually said, he was just counting the minutes until he could leave. His parents would be within a few hours. The house elves cleaned away his plate and tea cup and wished him a good day, and he went up to his room to check his packing.

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><p>Harry Potter wasn't really a morning person. Neither was hea night owl. His sleeping pattern just wasn't what normal people's was. It was unpredictable really. It could be a result of his many vivid dreams. He was sure he dreamed far more than anyone else he knew. He also longed to go back to Hogwarts so much it hurt, which was the reason he'd had trouble sleeping all night. He was woken by Hedwig, who knocked harshly on the window of his room at the Dursleys with her beak, wanting to drop of the morning paper and go to sleep. Harry wouldn't mind doing the latter as well, but it was the first of September and he wasn't going to sleep late.<p>

He got out of bed, grabbed a t-shirt on his way to the window, opened it, stretched his arms and yawned. He took the paper from the bird, patting her on the head, and skimmed through it. Nothing caught his interest, so he folded and threw it in the trash can. He knew that Hermione would bring her own copy to the train anyway. He tip toed downstairs, making sure no one was disturbed. Not because of respect for his relatives first of all, but because he treasured every moment he could be alone in his uncles and aunt's house, without them glaring at him or making bitter comments, the whole summer they'd been closing him off more than ever.

He made himself breakfast, smiling while he sipped his juice and ate his scrambled eggs. It was a clear and crisp morning, birds still flying around, singing to each other. He was still for a moment, listening to the sound, the lopsided smile growing even bigger. He was only a few hours away from going home.

Platform 9 and ¾ was as always crowded and smoky, warm and loud. Draco was indeed in time, and the Malfoy family was standing close to the wall, trying to avoid peoples intrusion, but not seeking to be invisible. It was not of Malfoy nature, they should take every chance to quietly stating their superiority.

His mother was talking calmly to him, not caring about anything other than their little group, holding his hand and telling him to focus on studies, to keep his connections and loyalties in the Slytherin house and, this she had told him many times during the summer, to please at least consider staying home a couple of years after graduating instead of going on the traditional world wide journey. He wasn't listening really, he had heard all of it, every year since he first went to Hogwarts, and he knew very well what his responsibilities were. He did not much care for them though, he put a minimum amount of energy on maintaining them. It wasn't that he did not like the power his family's position gave him, he just hadn't felt like abusing it any more the past few years. If he told his father this... he did _not_ want to picture that.

It was almost time to board the train, and his mother kissed his forehead and told him one last time to take care and focus on his studies. His father pulled him into a hug, told him they would see him at Christmas and they said goodbye. He turned towards the train, trunk in hand, waiting for Pansy to say goodbye to her parents so they could find a compartment together. They found one almost in the back of the train, and they were alone when the train pulled out of the station. Even after writing to each other the whole summer, they still had a lot to talk about, this was their last year of school after all, and they had nothing but the future in their minds.

Eventually, Crabbe and Goyle found them and joined them. Draco had, after six years of their company, grown a little tired of the poor company they were. None of them had the same intelligence as himself and Pansy, so nowadays they mostly talked over their heads. They didn't seem to mind though, so he continued his conversation with Pansy until they fell silent, both smiling, and Draco pulled out his book.

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><p>Harry met up with Ron, Hermione and Ginny on the Platform, hugged them tight and laughing heartily. It was a joy to see them again, after two excruciatingly long months of more or less being isolated in Little Winging. He said goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Granger, and received a bone braking hug from both of Ron's parents, telling him he was more than welcome to stay at the Burrows for Christmas, and even after they finished school next summer. Mrs. Weasley began to cry when students started filling the train, and the train's smoke grew thicker. Her two children hugged her tightly and told her not to cry, thatthey would see each other again at Christmas, even if it was a long time from now.<p>

The four of them went on the train, finding Luna and Neville in a compartment in the last wagon. It was so simple to be with them, not having to be the centre of attention, but not being ignored either. He could just have comfort in being with hisfriends, just being Harry. Luna and Neville told them about their summer, making the others laugh as Neville told him about a forced fishing trip with his uncle and Luna kept surprising them with all kinds of magical creatures she'd been discovering and keeping as pets – none of them were familiar to Harry, but he did not care, he appreciated Luna for being herself, even if she made little sense most of the time.

It was when the landscape changed from open fields and green hillsides to forests with old trees and steep, rocky slopes, with rain clouds hanging low in the air and they all started to feel hungry, that Harry decided to take a walk through the train. He liked doing this every year, looking at all the students, all though he wouldn't stare, just take in the emotions hanging in the air, see friends meeting again after the summer and notice friendships take already taking form amongst the first years.

He walked towards the front of the train, taking his time. He did not care for his hunger that much right now, he was looking forward to the welcoming feast in the great hall later that evening, rather than his home made sandwiches.

He was making his way through the third to last wagon when his sleeve got caught in a door handle, and as he tried to free himself, the train swayed and the accidentally opened the door, pushing all his weight against it and he stumbled in to the compartment. There were four pair of eyes meeting his. Pansy Parkinson, who looked mildly surprised for a moment, but she fixed her face into to a look of boredom, pursing her lips. Crabbe and Goyle, who didn't seem very interested, they kept chewing down their food down as Harry looked around in the compartment. And then there was Malfoy. A book in his hands, looking like it was several hundred years old, with his mouth slightly open and a confused and almost scared look on his face that didn't disappear as Harry regained his balance and got loose from the handle and said, hesitating "Right then.. I'll go now." and closing the door quickly. Odd. Where was the snarky comment, the spite that always lurked in Malfoys voice and manners?

He returned to his friends instead of continuing. When they asked why he was back already – they were well accustomed to his yearly ritual by now – he just said that he was too hungry to continue. Harry's smile returned in no time as they ate lunch and talked the remaining time of the train ride.

The dinner after the sorting ceremony was always the best meal of the year. And it was also the one he regretted eating the most afterwords. There were more dishes than he could think of, never ending, and the pumpkin juice he'd been missing the whole summer kept filling up his enchanted glass. And when he thought he couldn't get any more down, it was time for desserts. Dumbledore's speech was the last thing before heading up to Gryffindor tower, and this year, just as any year, he fell asleep almost the same second he laid his head on his pillow after talking to Ron Neville, Dean and Seamus well into the small hours of the night.


	2. 2 October The Faults of the Game

Chapter 2. October The faults and reactions of the game

Word Count: 3691

A/N:_ If the first chapter seemed a bit short and with no clear story line, you might start to see it now. This story will be based on month-to-month-writing. Again, City and Colour is the soundtrack for this chapter, and his song will be important for the following chapters, along with another guitar duo, which I dearly love._

_The placement of the Slytherin quarters are made according with the Hogwarts in the first film, where it's on a rocky hill, right above the lake. The lake surroundings looks just like it does in PoA. _

_City & Colour – Sensible Heart  
><em>

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><p>The Slytherin dungeons had many similarities to Malfoy Manor. But the way it made Draco feel was nothing like the one his parents house gave him. He was often surrounded by classmates and friends, always someone who considered his opinion and interests, and even though it was underground, dark, and close to the lake, it was always warm and felt like it somehow was alive.<p>

This morning, late October, he woke up to the sun light reflecting on the lake surface before shining through the windows in the seventh year boys' dormitory. No one else was awake yet_, _and he took this opportunity to get out of bed and go over to the window, looking out on the mountains dropping into the still water. He hummed a little in content, splaying his fingers on the window sill. He could see owls coming home from their nightly hunt disappearing into the owlery.

Turning away from the window he noticed the time, and he still had more than half an hour to spend before he had to get ready, before the others woke up, so he sat down on his bed, hangings pulled half closed, with some his potions assignment, intending to make some finishing touches on it before he had to hand it in the next day. He was a hard worker, as his father expected him to be.

As Draco scribbled on his parchment, his classmates started waking up, and before they all began the chaotic routine that took place every morning as they tried to get ready for class, he got dressed and went to sit in the common room with his book.

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><p>It was hard keeping up with classes, qiudditch and still getting enough free time, but Harry didn't mind. There where actually few things that troubled Harry nowadays. He could see the end of the tunnel, his graduation, being free from studies and the Dursleys, being able to spend his time doing all the things he was curious of. Even though he worried he'd miss his classmates, he didn't have to think about that right now. He was just going to enjoy this year.<p>

Walking with Hermione and Ron to Transfigurations, they started talking about what they wanted to do next summer. The subject had been brought up before of course, but they had always felt like it was to early to start talking about it, but now in their seventh year, it was an important thing for their classmates and themselves.

The three of them had agreed to make plans for the summer together. Hermione suggested France as their first destination. Ron mumbled something about Veela's and the two of them where lost in an argument Harry didn't want to get caught up in. Even though they were a couple now, Ron didn't always now how to be delicate enough and keep quiet about other girls. He slowed down to walk behind them, grinning to himself as he listened Ron's poor explanation. He held his gaze down to watch his step as they past a false step in the stairs when he accidentally bumped into somebody and turned around to see who it was. It was Malfoy, but it seemed like he hadn't noticed, he just kept on walking, a few steps behind his friends, looking straight forward at nothing, looking like he couldn't be bothered. It was strange how Malfoy wasn't the centre of attention, the one the Slytherins followed. And this wasn't the first time he had seen the Slytherins like this. Malfoy, who was some sort of natural leader, seemed to have taken a step back and was never the one to dictate at the slytherin table at lunch or dinner, and in potions, he didn't sneer and laugh as Snape punished the Gryffindors.

Hermione decided to give Ron the silent treatment, though Ron kept repeating he was sorry. Hermione snickered at him and didn't answer, but Harry could see her smiling when she turned away from Ron. She finally turned to him after ten minutes of Ron sighing loudly every ten seconds, and said "Fine Ron. Apology excepted. But think before you speak next time, for everybody's sake." She shook her head and kissed him on the cheek. Ron just smiled foolishly.

After lunch, Harry decided to go to the library. The halls where almost empty, since the weather was still pleasant and warm,and most students tried to get as much out of it before the cold fall and winter. Harry on the other hand, already had a lot of homework he wouldn't be able to do after classes, he had quidditch practice four times a week. He turned around a corner and who was walking towards him if not Malfoy, staring into space at a spot far behind Harry, carrying the same book he'd read on the train. Harry was just twenty feet from him, and it seemed as if Malfoy was just looking through him. Harry stopped and said loudly " Malfoy! What is going on?"

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><p>Draco snapped out of his thoughts and came to a stop, realizing just now that Harry was in front of him. "What are you talking about?" he said, mostly irritated that he had been disturbed in his thoughts.<p>

"You haven't said a word to me since school started. Did the cat get your tongue or something?"

Even if just slightly, Draco could feel his old instincts come to life. A lopsided smile growing on his lips, he asked "Why have you been missing me Potter?"

"Dream on Malfoy. But you can imagine the confusion when someone who's always taken every chance to be as annoying as you've been decides to pretend like they don't know you. But thank for doing so, it's been very nice." Potter retorted.

"Well maybe I've realized that it was a waste of my time. I have better things to do." His eyes trailed away on that last sentence. "Now if you excuse me."

He didn't look at Potter when he walked past him. He didn't want to see his expression, whether it was confusion, satisfaction or content. He really _did_ think that years of being on Potter case all the time had been a foolish way to spend his time, a waste of time, but now Potter knew he thought that. Soon his Gryffindor friends would know, and if he wasn't careful, his own friends would start to think he had gone soft. Why did Potter have to be one to make such a big thing of everything? He wished that the other boy would just accept it and be happy about it.

He was tired of this attitude he was supposed to have, like he was superior to everyone else. Over the last years and especially this last summer he'd grown more and more irritated at his father for telling him over and over that he had certain ideals to follow, a certain kind of manner to have, and most important, a duty towards his family. Draco knew all of this already. He had been told so all of his life and he was sick of it. Not that he was about to start being friendly to every damn person he talked to. He just felt like it wasn't worth the effort. The solitude he felt at home was a product of his father's 'duties'. Of course, they had guest, but they were all invited because his father would gain something from it. He didn't want that.

The fact that Potter had actually bothered to ask what was up with him,even if the tone was ironic, it felt strange. That somebody could stop and see the change in him. But why Potter?

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><p>Was Harry bothered about Malfoy not being the irritating ass he'd always been? Of course he was. He'd thought it was a natural thing, constantly having arguments with the other boy. But apparently not for Malfoy, any more. On the bright side, Harry could use all the energy he would have spent on Malfoy on homework and quidditch practice instead. It wasn't like he was going to pick a fight with the other boy just to have things as they were.<p>

He decided to stop thinking about it. Until he was forced to face the other boy again, just like many times before, but this time it would have a completely different outcome.

It was during the first quidditch game between Gryffindor and Slytherin. The sky was clear, and there was just the slightest breeze coming down the mountains. In ever way, this was the perfect day for a game. The bleachers where packed with students, all cheering loudly as the game began. Gryffindor took the lead right from the start. Harry screamed and cheered with the crowd every time one of the Gryffindor chasers scored a goal, as he soared above the game, searching the field for the snitch.

But as one hour past and no one had seen the snitch, Harry started to fly higher, Malfoy doing the same. They were soon so high above the stadium that the sounds were muffled and distant, and the wind was stronger on this altitude. Flying with low speed, they kept up the search. When the silence grew bigger and they both let their thoughts run away with them, the snitch decided to show up.

It was Draco who saw it first. It was right between the two of them. Standing still in the middle of the air, it teased them as Harry finally realized it was there. The two boys looked at each other. They both knew they had to accelerate fast to be the first one to catch the snitch, but the risk of crashing in to each other was almost too big, especially at this altitude. Harry considered his chances. He had the wind in his back, giving him at least a little extra speed. And he was statistically the better searcher. He decided to take the risk. Draco was not far behind, accelerating so fast that his eyes teared up, racing towards the golden ball. He kept his eye on it, determined to catch it first. But Harry had set his mind on the same thing, and when they where a few feet apart, he had to make a manoeuvre to stop from flying into the other boy at full speed. He cursed under his breath, thinking that Malfoy had caught the snitch, but when he turned around, he saw the Slytherin still flying with haste. He was not one to hesitate and hurried after.

They gained altitude. The snitch was rapidly changing direction, and the two boys ended up flying close to each other, trying to block the other, leaning forward on their brooms as much as humanly possible. They hadn't noticed, but they were flying closer and closer to the school, and realized it just as they suddenly flew close to one of the towers. Draco, trying to cut the turn round the roof as short as possible, flew too close to it, and with a loud bang, he hit the roof tiles, falling of his broom.

"Potter!" Harry saw the other boy scrambling to find something to hold on to as he was sliding down the roof on his back. The snitch was long gone, and he turned around and hurried down towards Malfoy. The slytherin seeker was just about to fall over the edge of the roof when he got hold of the roof pans. With an awful sound Harry could here Malfoys left shoulder dislocating from the bad angle and the force of him coming to a full stop. He screamed in pain, trying to get a hold of the roof with his right hand.

"You need to grab my hand." Harry told him, trying to fly close enough for Malfoy to easily climb onto his broom. Malfoy looked at him with panic.

"Come on!" Harry saw how Malfoy was starting to loose his grip on the edge. Draco was looking down to the ground, almost as if he was considering how bad the fall would be.

"Malfoy, you idiot, trust me! Come on!" He finally got a good reaction, and the other boy reached out his injured arm and let Harry put it around his own shoulder, so that he could easily get on the broom.

"Will you be able to fly all the way back, Malfoy?" Harry asked.

"Just get me out of here and off of this broom." was the answer.

They flew to the Quidditch field, landing in the grass as the audiences confused murmurs grew louder. The fact that the competing searchers arrived on the same broom and without the snitch was not a scenario anyone would have placed a bet on, and then there was the fact that it was Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter, who'd always showed each other such content.

As they got of the broom, Malfoy with a great hurry, their team mates landed around them. Madam Hooch was far behind, and asked them, "What happened here boys? Mr. Malfoy, you look like you've seen the dead."

"We followed the snitch of to the castle, and Malfoy accidentally flew into the roof of the south tower." harry answered. He glanced at Malfoy, but the slytherin wouldn't look at him, he just looked down on the ground, looking like he was going to be sick.

"I think his broom is broken too. It fell of the tower, and it's a pretty high fall."

"Do you have any damages?" Hooch said, looking at Malfoy, who murmured an answer to low to hear, swaying a little. "You need to speak up boy, I didn't catch that." she said.

"I said, 'My shoulder is dislocated Madam Hooch', and I need to get out of here _now_. I'm going to be sick.'" Malfoy grumbled quickly, turning around and almost running of the field.

Everyone stared after him for a few seconds, and then Madam Hooch turned to Madam Pomfrey, who was sitting in a special booth,close to the field. "Go after him, make him calm down and do something about his dislocated shoulder." Then she turned to Harry again. "Your hand looks like it could use some medical help too Potter, you should follow Madam Pomfrey and have her patching that up after she's done with poor Mr. Malfoy." Harry didn't understand what she was talking about at first, but then he looked down on his hands, seeing his left hand badly scratched, probably from the roof tiles. He could feel it starting to pulse, and he followed the school nurse out towards the changing rooms.

Up on the bleachers, people were asking them selves what just had happened, and if the game was to continue, and if not, did anyone win? Hermione had been looking through her binocularsthe whole time, and as far as she could tell, Malfoy was hurt and feeling really bad, hence him running of the field, and Harry's hand looked like it needed some bandages. Neville was asking her what was going on, and she told him, but she left out the awkward looks the boys were giving each other.

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><p>His shoulder hurt like fuck. There was no other way to describe the pain pulsing through it. He sat down on a bench in the slytherin changing room, breathing deeply and trying not move his arm. He heard someone entering through the door and looked up to see Madam Pomfrey. Closely followed by Potter. He turned away, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, leaning his head against the wall. Pomfrey asked for permission to look at his shoulder, and he nodded curtly. He probably wouldn't manage to answer without crying out in pain, it was better to stay quiet.<p>

While the healer was very careful, his shoulder was hurting too much, and he had to look away from how the awkward looking joint. His eyes flickered around the room, and by accident, he locked eyes with Potter. He had no expression in his eyes, and he stared right into Dracos eyes. Draco stared back. Suddenly Potter opened his mouth, as if to say something, but he didn't get the time when Draco felt a sharp pain in his shoulder, causing him to scream and writhe, closing his eyes hard. "There there, Mr. Malfoy, I told you it would hurt, but it is the fastest way to heal a dislocated shoulder. It will be over in a few seconds." Madam Pomfrey told him. He must have missed her saying it the first time. Madam Pomfrey turned to Potter.

"Now Mr. Potter, do you have any more injuries than those scratch marks you showed me?"

The other boy answered that he didn't, and the healer took out a healing potion and dropped some on his hands, which almost immediately started to heal. Pomfrey told him that if he noticed anything new, he should go up to the hospital wing and let her have a look at it.

"That goes for you too Mr. Malfoy." She added, as she walked out of the changing room.

The silence fell between the two of them. They could here the student body walking past on the other side of the door, making their way up to the castle. Draco, who's shoulder still was pounding a little, opened and closed his eyes with every wave of pain.

"You really don't trust me to save you from falling to your death? Are you that paranoid Malfoy?"

"I have told you, I nothing you. I don't want anything to do with you." He breathed slowly.

"Even if it got you killed?" Potter shifted his weight on his feet, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Just shut up Potter. You got to save me. Can't you just be satisfied with that?"

"Oh come on, I'm not looking out to be the hero! And this isn't even about that, you know that!"

Draco sighed and stood, only a few feet away from Potter now. The stupid Gryffindor wanted an explanation, and he would get one.

"What do you think it's about then, Potter?" He mirrored the other boys position and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning on his right leg. The other boy hesitated, started to say something but changed his mind.

"Well is it about me, not giving you any attention any more? Or is it that I'd rather take that fall than letting you save me? Is it to strange for you? Because I think it is. I have wasted to much time and thought and _hate_ on you Potter. Don't you think?" His words wasn't very aggressive, but his heavy breathing made them sound much harder than they were, and he thought that maybe that was just as good. He continued without letting the startled boy in front of him have a word.

"You know just as well as I do, that what we were doing was just the small scale what's going on above us. And it doesn't even matter. _It doesn't matter._" He looked sternly at Potter for several seconds, and then turned to the door and walked out without looking back.

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><p>"You need to relax Harry. You've been quiet all afternoon. It's not your fault that Malfoy made an fool out of himself ruining the game! He's never been as good as you at flying, he should have known he wouldn't make that turn. Even you had the same accident in the triwizard tournament fourth year! But that wasn't the same thing of course, you had a dragon to fight of you know" Ron was trying to make him feel a little better by insulting Malfoy over and over again, but he wasn't succeeding. Mostly because he didn't know the reason of Harry's mood, but also because he wouldn't stop talking and it was very distracting when all Harry wanted and needed was to process the incident in the changing room.<p>

" Ron please be quiet, Harry clearly doesn't want to talk about it. Just give it a rest. You could try working on the assignment you have for Charms class." Hermione closed her book and looked at her boyfriend. Ron sighed and took up his scroll and pen, not really wanting to do it.

"I'm going to bed, I need to have this day over with" Harry said, rising up from his chair, "or find something I can punch." he added as he climbed up the stairs to the 7th year boys dormitory.

He sat down on his bed. He took a heavy breath, rubbing his eyes. Harry wasn't sure what to believe. Did Malfoy mean everything he had said the past few weeks? He had never ever guessed that Malfoy had that side to him, that he wouldn't be interested in the invisible war going on. Harry moved to the window, sitting down and looking for nothing in particular. Malfoy hadn't said anything about wanting to switch sides, but he guessed it wasn't about Malfoys moral, when it came to it, he was probably just unsure of which side would come out as the winner in the end. He always wanted the best for himself. He had probably just changed his tactics halfway through the game.

_'He's right.' _Harry thought to himself, '_It doesn't matter.'_


	3. 3 November Needing and Wanting

Chapter 3. November Needing and wanting

Word Count: 2,984

_A/N: This is the third chapter of this story, and I hope you're just as interested in knowing what's going to happen as I am. I have decided that this thing that in the beginning was a random sentence popping up in my head will be somewhat over ten chapters, split into two parts._

_And I dedicate Draco's last response to Pansy to my dear Berry, a.k.a Drarrysexual on Tumblr. This is instead of smut, Berry._

_City & Colour – I Don't Need To Know_

_Read, Feel, Enjoy._

_In a way, every man knows his destiny. He will always carry it with him. There are two kinds of men. One, who carries his destiny in his heart, always reaching for what he truly desires, good or bad. The other, carries his destiny in his mind, trying to find what he needs, putting away his ego, and always looks for the best outcome of the big picture. But it's difficult to tell them apart, what one man wants, the other needs._

He came to a full stop. When turning around the corner, he'd almost run into another person who also seemed to be in a hurry. The other boy accidentally stepped on his foot. He cursed a little and looked up to see who it was. It was Malfoy.

"Potter. Sorry for that", the Slytherin mumbled.

"It's fine. It... doesn't matter", he responded, walking away.

Draco Malfoy was an expert of wanting. He had more material things than he would need for a lifetime. But he had not lost the feeling of wanting something. He wanted things his father's power could not buy. He wanted to come out of his life with his honour in perfect state. He wanted to have as much power as his father, but not by the same conditions. He wanted to be great, but neutral to all things. All he wanted was peace.

He got the letter at lunch in the Great Hall. It was a short letter, only a few sentences, written by his father. It informed him that they were going to have guests from Hungary over Christmas and New Years, and that Draco was supposed to prepare to it by learning everything he could about them and the relationship the Malfoy family had with them. Draco wasn't surprised at all by this, he had many times before been forced to study powerful wizard families so that he could take part in conversations with his father and his business associates. He remembered once when he had memorized the wrong name of one wizard's wife. That had ended up with him being sent to his room for a whole week. There was no way that a Malfoy would not be uninformed and on top of the situation. He wished he did not have to do it. Even though he was missing his mother and father, he would much rather stay at Hogwarts over the holiday, where he would not have to own up to and be compared to his father.

He went to the library to find himself another book to read because he had finally finished the one he got from his mothers library. He always wanted to have something to read, in excess of the books for his classes. He walked through the rows of shelves, choosing books at random. When he came to the Potions section he slowed down, looking for a book that would be a good complement to his own book. He loved Potions, and was always ahead in the reading homework they got. He found the book, and turned to walk out of there when he heard a name that made him stop and listen.

"No, Harry, that's all wrong. He wrote the book in 1467! He _died_ in 1492. And he wasn't born in Bournemouth, he moved there with his mother at the age of twelve." Granger was looking at a parchment and making changes as she read. Potter was sitting opposite of her, resting his head in his hand.

"Wait.. what was his book even about?" Potter scratched the bridge of his nose.

"_Harry.. _It was about equal rights for goblins and humans. He was before his age!" Granger looked overexcited at a subject like that.

"Before our age too. Nothing has really changed", the Gryffindor boy sighed.

"Well yes, and that's awful!" the girl nodded and continued to read through Potter's assignment.

Draco shook his head and turned to walk away, not knowing that the boy at the table had seen him the whole time.

Walking out of the library, he heard somebody call his name. He turned around to the voice, seeing Pansy walking down the stairs towards him.

"I have been looking for you! You got another letter from your parents", she gave a rolled up parchment to him and he opened it.

"Change of plans. They are going to Hungary over the holidays instead. _They_ are_._ I'm.. I'll stay here over the holidays."

"Oh I'm sorry, Draco. Well, at least you don't have to learn all those new names this year", Pansy said with a half smile.

"No, it's fine. Any way's okay with me", Draco half lied and shrugged, "I'll have lots of time to do homework and read books."

"Of course, don't forget about Draco's books!" Pansy laughed. "Where are you heading?"

"I have a two hour study period after lunch, but I'm finished with all of my homework. I think I'll take a walk", he said, folding the letter and putting it in his pocket.

"Well lucky you, I have Herbology", Pansy muttered, "I don't even know why I picked that class".

They said goodbye and Draco headed for the Entrance Hall, thinking he would walk down to the lake.

He wanted to be alone, and he knew that most people would be in the castle at their classes. He had a favourite place by the lake, an old oak with twisted branches, many of them very comfortable to sit or lie down on. He went down to the shore, picking up a fistful of small rocks and went to climb up the tree. He sat down on one of them and started throwing rocks into the lake. He did this when he didn't want to think. He could just concentrate on throwing, on the sound and the sight of the rocks hitting the surface, and watch the rings form in the water. He did this for a long time, and he never noticed when his mind began to wander.

_It is just as good to be here at Hogwarts for Christmas. No, it's better. It's the best __C__hristmas gift I could've gotten. _A stone made a particularly big splash. _I wonder if there's any other Slytherins staying? I hope there isn't. It'd be great to have the dormitory all by myself._

He heard footsteps on the path, someone was heading right towards him. He hurried to the tree, climbing a couple of branches and made himself as invisible as possible, peeking down at the ground.

_Oh great, you're kidding me!_ he thought when he saw who it was. Potter was walking down towards the lake, stopping there and picking up a big stone.

"I will never learn Magical History. I don't even care!", the Gryffindor said, throwing the stone into the lake, causing a splash that scared several lake birds away. He stomped the ground and waved his arms above his head in frustration, before slumping his shoulder and sighing.

Draco almost laughed at that, the other boy looked so confused and annoyed, he had never seen him like this. But then Potter turned around and walked right towards the tree Draco was hiding in. Draco hurried and climbed even higher, making sure Potter wouldn't see him. Just as he feared, the other boy climbed up the tree and sat down on the lowest branch. Draco looked at him, Potter sighed again and rubbed his forehead. He didn't know what made him do it, but he found himself saying;

"A little stressed out, Potter?"

Harry had made his way down to the lake during his study period, explaining he needed some fresh air to prevent his head exploding from all the information Hermione had tried to force into it. His thoughts were a mess and he was quite confused by seeing Malfoy watching him in the library. So he went down to the lake to get the peace he needed, and to think over what had just happened.

He was startled by the sudden voice coming from above when he had climbed the old oak and sat down on a branch. He looked around and placed the voice, seeing Malfoy staring down on him.

"What the hell, Malfoy!", he exclaimed. The other boy continued to stare at him, so he went on, "Yeah I think you noticed, Malfoy", he said, embarrassed, looking up on the boy hiding in the tree, who smirked a little and said "Oh yeah, I did. But I hardly think Magical History is something to get that stressed out about."

"Well, there was more behind that than Professor Binns' assignment. You should know, both Gryffindor and Slytherin are at the bottom of the Quidditch Cup because of that game."

"Yeah, that...", Malfoy seemed to remember their confrontation after the game.

"Why are you here?", Harry asked.

"I came down here to be alone, but the universe seems to have decided that I don't deserve that today", said the boy above him, looking out over the lake.

"You're alone a lot nowadays", stated Harry, but regretting it as soon as he said it.

"That's none of your business, Potter.", Malfoy's voice was hard and emotionless.

They sat quiet for a while, Harry mindlessly plucking the bark from the branch and Malfoy still looking out on the lake.

"Just to be clear, you don't care about me or what I do, right?" Harry asked.

"Yes", Malfoy answered.

"So.. If I know what's bothering you, that wouldn't really make a difference?"

"It's not that simple, Potter. And why _would_ I tell you?", Malfoy turned his head down to him.

"Because it doesn't even matter?", he smirked a little.

"You can't use my own words against me!" Malfoy was surprised and huffed.

"I can, and I will." Harry smirked at him again.

Another minute of silence, and then, Malfoy climbed down to sit on the branch next to Harry, but keeping his distance. He sighed, and said;

"People always tell me I'm just like my father."

"Are you?"

"No."

"What are you then?"

"I'm not what people want me to be. I am my own person. But they choose not to see that. They want me to be just like my father, _be_ my family name. A Malfoy has power."

Malfoy was gripping the branch they sat on and stared down to the ground. Harry could only be quiet and wait for him to continue. "I will inherit my father's power, his position. I will _be_ my father. And there is no one even asking if that's what I want."

"Do you know what you want?" Malfoy snapped his head to face Harry, looking angrily at him.

"I am so tired of everybody questioning me, and make me questioning myself!" the Slytherin began to climb down the tree.

"No but, that wasn't what I meant!", Harry said regretfully.

"Shut up!" Malfoy hit the ground with a thud, walking quickly up the hill.

"Malfoy, wait!" Harry made his way down the tree and jumped to the ground, following the other boy.

"Malfoy, calm down and listen to me! I know you don't want to, but just listen!", Harry said, following the other boy. "Malfoy! I understand you!"

That made the other boy stop and turn around. "What do you mean?", he said, looking suspicious. Harry hesitated a little on what exactly his next words would be, but continued.

"What I mean is, I know that pressure.", he breathed in, catching his breath, "Do you know how many times I've heard about how brave my parents were, how they fought against Voldemort?" Malfoy winced but Harry continued. "Do you know how many times I've heard that I look just like my father, except the eyes, I have my mothers eyes?" Malfoy took a few steps towards Harry. "I get to hear every day, that I'm The Boy Who Lived, or The Chosen One, the one that's going to save us all." Malfoy looked down on the ground, awkwardly shifting his weight on his legs. "I know pressure Malfoy. I know how it feels to be forced into something from birth."

"I don't like you Potter, you now that?" Malfoy looked up at him.

"No you don't. You nothing me", Harry grinned.

To that statement the Slytherin could do nothing but laugh.

"How do you live with not knowing what's coming, not knowing what the Dark Lord will do to you?" Draco pushed away a branch hanging over the path.

"How do you live with knowing? To me it seems like you're not happy even though you know", was the answer from the boy walking behind him.

"It's not _that_ I know, it's _what _I know. I can't stand the thought of what my future will be like", he corrected him. They walked in silence for a moment, listening to the forest breathing, and then Potter answered.

"I can't live constantly waiting for him to attack me, or whatever it is he'll do to me. I don't know, and I don't need to know. That would drive me insane, and I don't want to live my life in constant fear. All I can do is to prepare for the unknown, and trust the people around me." Draco found that very hard to believe. How could you trust anyone but yourself?

"How can you be so certain of who you can trust?", he wondered.

"I guess I don't have another choice", Potter said after thinking for a couple of seconds.

"On my s-.. On my fathers side, you learn to never trust anybody", Draco looked over his shoulder. "There will constantly be a change of power, or people who betray each other, or fall under the pressure. You trust no one. Only yourself."

Just as the other boy opened his mouth to answer, they heard laughter coming from around the bend of the path, making them stop and look at each other. For several seconds they deliberated their possibilities. The voices came closer, and Draco took charge of the situation. He grabbed Potter's arm and dragged him off the path behind a big rock. Draco didn't have to tell him to be quiet, he just glanced at Potter and got a nod as an answer. From behind the trees emerged Hanna Abbot and Ernie MacMillan, laughing about something Ernie had said.

Draco tried to stretch his head to see them walk past, but he was stopped by the Gryffindor who put his hand on top of his head and pushed down hard.

"_OW, what the hell, Potte__r!_", he whispered, looking at the other boy.

"Ernie has eyes like a hawk, he'll probably see you _through_ the rock. Keep still."

They crouched down, Potter mindlessly keeping his hand on Dracos shoulder, waiting until the two classmates was out of sight and out of hearing distance. Trying to get up again, Draco felt the weight of Potters hand still on his shoulder. He looked at the boy, who became aware of himself, retracting his hand and rising to his feet and looking around.

"Let's go then", Potter said.

"Potions", Draco nodded.

Potter checked his pocket watch and said, "It starts in half an hour. We need to go back to the castle."

Hermione Granger was an intelligent young woman, and she understood human beings. So she was the only one reacting when she saw Harry and Draco Malfoy hurrying around the corner together, arriving at the Potions classroom. Everybody else was filling in to the classroom picking out their quills and books, but she had waited for Harry to arrive. The two boys didn't speak to each other and there was no sign of an argument between the two of them. When had that ever happened before? When Harry came to the door she just smiled at him and went after him inside. She knew she would understand eventually. As always.

"Hi Pansy." Draco walked into the common room after dinner, finding it abandoned which was very unusual at this time of the day. The only person there was his friend, who was sitting in an armchair.

"I saw you with Potter today, Draco. Had a nice chat, did you?", she said, not looking up from her paper. Draco immediately knew that she had planned this, and he wondered what she had done to get all of the Slytherins to stay away from the common room. He decided to pretend like he didn't know what she talked about.

"Think about what you're suggesting here, Pansy. Potter?" He sat down opposite of her.

"Yes. Potter. Down at the lake. He threw rocks and you laughed. You seemed to have an interesting conversion. I saw you." Draco knew he had been caught, and there was no point lying to her.

"Pansy don't..", he began, but was interrupted by his friend.

"Don't worry Draco. I don't like it, but it's not up to me", she said. "We are best friends and I'll have your back. Besides, Potter's just some git if you ask me, he doesn't matter really", she smiled at him.

"Oh Merlin, no he doesn't. That's what I've been trying to tell him". Draco almost laughed.

"Just be careful for who finds out. You know that your father-"

"I definitely know what my father would think if he heard about it."


	4. 4 December A Hazy Shade of Winter

Chapter 4. December A Hazy Shade of Winter

Word Count: 3,971

A/N:

_Hi. Perhaps you noticed that I re-posted the third chapter. There were too many misspellings and grammatical faults, and I just had to get it fixed. And the reason why this chapter has taken a little longer for me to publish is because life has really gotten in the way of it. Of everything. But I'm trying to get back on track and write, because it makes me feel okay. So that's it. _

_Here's the fourth chapter for you!_

_It's winter, and Christmas, and all that that brings! Prepare for snowballs. This chapter will briefly include a character I don't think is written very often in fics. I feel he needs much more credit, because he loves Harry, and he's such an awesome character; My man Hagrid._

_About the music. I have a lot to comment this time -_

_The other artist I mentioned before, is Simon & Garfunkel. This chapter will feature one of their songs._

_I noticed that when writing the songs, I've written C&C instead of City & Colour, and this is because I've forgotten to change it in the editing. From now on, I will write the artists full names. The title is from the Simon & Garfunkel-song with the same name. The song itself hasn't got anything to do with the story, I just fell in love with the title._

_The Simon and Garfunkel song is about Draco. The situation the lyrics tell is in some ways the complete opposite from the one Draco's in. He thinks he's not letting Harry close to him, that he doesn't let him understand or help him in any way – that's not what he wants , or think he wants from Harry. But it's exactly what he's doing. He's closed of by nature, and now they start to develop this weird friendship, which Draco is certain he doesn't need, or can have. And so, the work of breaking down his walls and protection begins._

_Please review, I'd love to know what you think! And if you want to ask me anything, just post it on Tumblr and tag it as 'the only truth I know'. I like the first post in that tag._

_Simon & Garfunkel – I Am a Rock_

_City & Colour – Faithless - B-side_

_Reed, Feel, Enjoy.  
><em>

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><p>The old oak at the lake became a place Harry visited frequently. He didn't know why exactly, but he didn't want it to be because he was hoping to meet Malfoy there, because he never did. The other boy seemed to avoid the spot, and Harry too, again. It was a great place to think and relax after Quidditch practice and school though, and as November turned to December, the weather progressed into icy cold and the first snow fell on the grounds.<p>

He had started wearing his winter cloak and boots, and thick knitted socks to keep his almost always cold feet warm. Everything smelled like winter, but he defied the vicious cold to go down and throw pebbles in the lake that was slowly getting covered by ice. He was never accompanied by his two best friends, because Hermione was more keen to make Ron study harder than ever before this year. Harry had excused himself from several study sessions the last couple of weeks, and Ron had looked jealous, asking why Harry was allowed to leave. Hermione answered that Harry actually did homework without her having to force him, and that he needed time to work over his Quidditch duties. Harry was glad she took his side, and even though she wasn't right about what he did alone, he suspected she knew he was distracted by something. She always knew.

His few conversations with Malfoy had changed the situation so much, without really making a noticeable difference. It was like it had happened in the gap between real life and a dream, a scene that had been scratched out of the script because it made no sense. But still, it did. It still made sense, that they would understand each other. They were the extreme cases from each side, but still it seemed like they had many things in common.

He almost expected to get some kind of recognition from Malfoy, a look, or even a nod. Even though the odds for that last part ever happing were low. But it seemed like the other boy didn't care at all. But one thing Harry didn't know, was what was going on in the Slytherin's head.

* * *

><p>"Could you please to run that over with Blaise before lunch for me? I need his opinion today!" said Draco over his shoulder while hurrying through the common room, throwing his bag over his shoulder, grabbing his Arithmancy book, not waiting for Pansy to answer him before running towards the door and up the stairs to the Great Hall. He put his books in his satchel, not sitting down to grabs a couple of sandwiches – he needed to get to the Owlery before class to send a letter to his father.<p>

He'd gotten a letter the night before telling him that his parents wouldn't go to Hungary after all. Their hosts had been seen with the wrong kind of people, some one who had been supporting Dumbledore during The Dark Lords era. Now they were completely gone. They had disappeared. His mother had asked him if he wanted to come home for Christmas, but he had written in his answer that he had promised Pansy to stay at Hogwarts with her. That was partially true – Pansy had decided to stay at the castle too, and they where happy to have each others company, but he had never promised her such a thing. It was his original plan and after hearing about his father's associates he was even more reluctant to get involved with his 'business'.

He ran up to the tower and found his owl after just a few seconds. Feeding her some of the bread crumbs to excuse himself for waking her up, he tied the letter to her leg and told her to fly as fast as she could. He looked out the big window as she disappeared into the sky. He studied the mountains around the castle and lake, how they'd gotten white with snow and how they seemed to sparkle in the winter sun. He looked down and saw someone walking out of the castle. He knew who that somebody was. Draco scooped up the new fallen snow on the window pane, squeezed it into a perfect snowball and hexed it to fly towards the other boy. Seeing the snowball land just in front of the boy on the ground, he crouched so that only his head was peeking through the window. He could hear a distant "Whoa! What the..?" from the Gryffindor. Draco turned around and walked out of there with a little grin on his face.

He met up with Pansy at Charms Class, and she accompanied him into the classroom, sitting down at at the back of the room.

"I had the chance to talk to Blaise at breakfast. He said that he thought it was a risky thing to do, but we'd probably have the same shot winning against Gryffindor any way we choose to play." She was talking about Draco's new idea for a tactics for the Quidditch the next Saturday. He'd gotten the idea just the day before, but he thought that, if they really put their minds to it, it would work good against Gryffindor.

"Yeah, I think so too. I mean, it won't affect me as seeker, so I will stand the same chance against Potter. It's our offensive play we need to work on", he answered, getting his books and scrolls in order.

"Well will you be able to beat Potter this time? You'll really try not to fly into some building or other solid objects?" she smirked at him.

"Definitely. I want to beat him", he said, just as class started, and he turned his head to the front of the classroom.

* * *

><p>Harry was really glad it was the end of term. He had a whole three weeks together with Ron and Ginny, alone in the Gryffindor Tower. They would play some Quidditch, and Wizard's chess, even though Ron would always win. Hermione had decided to go home to her parents, since she had been at the the Burrow with Ron several weeks over the summer. She had left presents for all of them, forcing them to promise that they wouldn't open them before Christmas Day. Right now, they were sitting in arm chairs around the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room, lazily talking about what they wanted for Christmas and what they would eat and how little they would miss classes. They were interrupted by a knock on one of the windows. Ginny went to open it, and their family owl Errol, flew shakily into the room and landed badly on the coffee table in front of them. Ron reached and untied a letter from his left leg, and read it quickly.<p>

"Ginny, it's from Mum. She.. She says something has happened to Charlie in Albania. He got trampled by a dragon and.. uh, I can't see what she's written." he said, confused and shocked.

"Let me see!" Ginny said, "It says he'll be transferred to a hospital there, and they want us to come home tonight. We'll go there on Christmas Eve. She has sent a letter to Dumbledore, he'll help us to get home." She sat down on the couch, looking worried.

"I guess we'll have to leave you here alone Harry. If you don't want to come with us." Ron said.

"But that's not a very good idea. Albania is full of supporters of You-Know-Who. It'll be dangerous for Harry. Mum says so in the letter too" Ginny answered. "I'm sorry Harry, but it's safer for you", she said, apologizing.

"It's okay. I think I'll manage it here. This is like my home, and I'll just spend time with Dobby instead or something", he smiled a little. The others laughed a little at his response, deciding they would pack their things so that they could leave at midday.

Harry went to let Errol out with his friends' response. He closed the window and sat down on the window sill, looking out on the ground. It was still a cloudy morning and the cold wind was blowing Errol in the wrong course over and over. He sat there watching the snow twirl and fall, thinking about what he would do know that he was the only Gryffindor staying there. Practice quidditch maybe? They had lost their last game of the season against Slytherin. Harry had caught the snitch, but the Slytherin team had improved their offensive play and had scored too many goals for Gryffindor to catch up with. Harry had caught the snitch just before Malfoy's and the crowds eyes, just to end the fiasco. And if he had the right to complaint, his keeper had had a minor accident in practice the day before and wasn't at his best during the game. But the fact was, they where still the bottom team and needed to shape up to get ahead.

Ron and Ginny came down with their packed bags and belongings and said goodbye, making sure he was okay with staying. He told them the truth, that he knew it was the best too. He gave them their Christmas presents and told them to say hello to the their parents and brothers from him, and that he felt sorry for Charlie. They hugged, and then red headed siblings crawled out of the portrait of the Fat Lady and they were gone.

* * *

><p>Draco slept late that morning. He thought deserved to have a long night of sleep and a nice calm first day of the holiday. He thought about going down to the lake. He hadn't been there since he was there with Potter. He hadn't been avoiding it really, just been really busy, but then he noticed Potter going there a lot, so he decided not to. After everything with his parents associates and what was going on out there, he didn't want to risk anything because he accidentally bumped in to Potter again. But today, he would go there. Potter was probably going to spend time with his Weasley friends, because he knew that they would probably stay at Hogwarts too.<p>

He made his way to breakfast with Pansy, confirming that the only Gryffindors there were Potter and the two Weasleys. There were no other Slytherins, and there were four Ravenclaws and three first year Hufflepuffs. After breakfast, they went to the library to find Pansy a book for her Magical History assignment. Draco was already done with his. They were heading out from the library when they saw the Weasleys walking past with bags and travel clothes. Draco guessed they where going home after all, not really thinking more about it.

Back at the Slytherin house, he retrieved his winter coat and scarf, and headed up to the Entrance Hall. Hesitating for a moment, he dug out a quill and piece of parchment out of his pockets, and wrote quickly.

**The old Oak, down by the Lake.**

He folded it and hexed it quietly. He watched as it flew out of the front door and rose up in the sky.

* * *

><p>Harry was sitting in one of the windows reading his Potions book, when there was a knock on the glass again. For a few seconds he thought it was Errol returning because the wind was too rough on him. But when he opened it, a piece of hexed parchment flew by him and landing on the window sill, waiting for him to grab it. He unfolded it and read the only sentence on it. He didn't recognize the handwriting, but he easily figured out who had written it. He stood there, looking out on the snowfall and the now frozen lake. Why now? Did Malfoy want something, or was he just bored? Harry put on his coat and and hat and hurried through the castle.<p>

Malfoy was already there when Harry arrived. He stood with his back against Harry, looking out over the lake. When Harry came up beside him, he looked at him briefly, then started to walk away from him. Harry turned after him in confusion, but he regretted it immediately when he was hit in the stomach with a big snow ball.

"Ow, fuck! What was that for, Malfoy?" he shouted. All he got for an answer was a shrug and amused expression. "Well why did you want me to come down then?"

"To throw more snowballs at you", Malfoy grinned.

"More? Wait.. have you thrown any other snowballs at me? Just to mess with me? I thought it was Peeves or someone from the Hufflepuff team who wanted me injured before the Quidditch game!" He started to brush the snow off his coat.

"The answer's yes to both of those questions." Harry was hit by another snowball.

"I hate you, you know that?" Harry laughed, and launched after the Slytherin.

"It doesn't matter!" half shouted, half laughed the already running boy.

* * *

><p>Harry woke up on Christmas Day, feeling the scent of the Christmas tree in the common room. The pile of gifts was the first thing he saw. He scratched the bridge of his nose and scooted down to the foot of the bed, picking up a letter on top of the pile. It was addressed from Hermione.<p>

**_"Merry Christmas Harry! I heard from Ron you're all alone in Gryffindor Tower, I feel sorry for you! But use this as an opportunity to study a lot, and remember to visit Hagrid, he'll want to invite you for tea. And don't eat his cookies._**

**_I've had a nice and quiet holiday so far. My parents are really glad I'm home, and so am I. We've walked around the neighbourhood a lot. It's weird how it has changed so much without me noticing it. And as much as I love magic, I miss TV and watching the news every night. It's even more interesting now, because I can see traces of magic in several of the news stories. Of course, I tell my parents about this, and they can't believe how big an affect the Wizard Community have on the Muggle World. They say Merry Christmas, by the way._**

**_I 'll be back two days before term starts, I'll write to you again soon. And about your present, I need you to open it very carefully. I hope you'll enjoy it! And don't forget to visit Hagrid!_**

**_Merry Christmas again,_**

**_Hermione."_**

Harry smiled at the letter, found Hermione's gift first, and opened it. It was a small model of a Snitch, made out of lark wood. It was very delicate and beautiful, and the wings were so thin the light would shine through them and make look like they were glowing. He put that aside, and promised himself he would write back to her, and also to visit Hagrid during the following days. It had been weeks since they had last talked to him and Harry thought it would be a great way to spend his holiday. Moving on with the presents, he got a package of fire crackers and candy from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes,the traditional knitted sweater, and a package of cauldron cookies from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and a hat that told you funny stories when you put it on your head from Ron. When he was done, there was a small note on his bed. He opened it, and it said;

**Watch out, Potter. And Merry Christmas.**

He looked around, very confused, and then he was hit in his forehead with a hexed snowball that vanished in the air after hitting him. He sighed and wiped his nose and forehead dry. Harry moved to get dressed, not at all surprised by the Slytherin's trick. He went down to the common room, writing an answer to Hermione, thanking her for the gift, and then a letter to Ron, asking him how his brother's condition was like and how his Christmas was. Harry knew Ron would get the letter in one or two days earliest. He put on his boots and walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

The mood around the big table was joyous and loose, many of the teachers were extra social, due to the Christmas spirit. Only after a couple of minutes, Professor Flitwick spoke to Harry;

"But Mr. Potter, what's that on your forehead?"

"What?" Harry asked, confused. He could hear someone dropping a fork and snorting.

"You have a big red mark right on your forehead. It looks almost like a.. like the letter D. That's odd, isn't it?"

A big cough came from the other side of the table, and heads were turned against Draco Malfoy, who was in the middle of a coughing fit.

"Sorry. Got something stuck in my throat", he said.

"I.. I don't know where it came from", Harry said, fixing his eyes on Malfoy.

"It looks like magic to me. Here let me get it off for you", the professor said, smiling, and making the mark disappear with a flick of his wand.

"Thank you Professor", said Harry, bending his head down and continuing his meal in silence, trying to avoid meeting Malfoy's amused glances.

After breakfast, he followed Hagrid to his hut, catching up on everything that had happened, Harry telling his big friend about Charlie Weasley's accident and how Ron and Ginny had left in a hurry.

"It's a bloody shame if something happens to that boy that would stop him from taking care of those dragons over there. He was a natural with magical creatures I tell you. Always liked that boy", Hagrid said, pouring steaming hot tea into a mug in front of Harry.

"Yeah. I wrote to Ron before breakfast, asking him how Charlie was holding up. I guess I'll get a response in a few days or so if the weather's good", he said, holding his cold hands around the mug.

"Guess that boy will do just fine, if I know him right. What about you then? Up to trouble as usual, are you Harry?" Hagrid asked jokingly.

"No, not this far, actually", Harry laughed, "I have been really busy with Quidditch. We got an awful start with the Slytherin game in October, and the last game against them were almost embarrassing. I don't know what they'd done to get that good, but they were much better than last time. "

"Yeah, I watched both of them, and I felt bad for you up there, you can't really control the game in the field, can you? But you'll get right up again. You're a Gryffindor, you can always turn around and show them."

When Harry walked up to the castle it was past lunch. He had eaten at Hagrid's instead of in the castle. He pulled his hood closely to his head to shelter himself from the cold wind and then he heard the sound of something flying past his head, and he saw a little white ball land a few feet in front of him. He didn't look back, just shouted, "Don't even think about it, I need to put on warmer clothes!", and continued up to the castle.

* * *

><p>Draco had gotten the idea of the prank randomly just before he fell asleep. He wanted to get Potter attention without giving him something, and by hexing the ball of snow to make the letter D in his forehead, there would be no hesitation of who it might be. Although, he thought Potter would've noticed it before breakfast, but now he got the pleasure of seeing it for himself. Pansy had looked intently at him for the remaining part of breakfast, but it was worth seeing Potter's face. She had confronted him, but he had told her it was just to mess with Potter's head. And that wasn't a lie.<p>

He was now sitting in an alcove in the Entrance Hall, waiting for Potter to come down again, so that he could kick his ass in a snowball fight again. He was lazily throwing an apple up in the air and catching it. He took a bite of it when he heard steps in the stairs. He peeked out of his hiding place and saw Potter walking towards him.

"We're going to fly!" Potter said.

"Are we?" he said with a lopsided grin, starting to walk outside next to the Gryffindor.

"Yep! Great weather for flying, and I want to have revenge after that joke of a match two weeks ago", said Potter.

"Count me in", Draco laughed.

* * *

><p>By the time they stopped racing after each other, trying to tackle each other and catching the snitch, it was getting very dark and their cheeks were red and numb from the cold air. Then they heard someone call out to them from below and they both looked down. There on the ground was Pansy Parkinson.<p>

"Draco, it's almost dinner and it's freezing, I think you'd want to come inside now!" she shouted, her breath turning into cold mist. Harry looked from the Slytherin on the ground to the one soaring next to him.

"Wait, she knows about us?" he said.

"Yeah she does." Malfoy waved to Pansy to tell her he had understood, and she turned around and left the field. "Wait, _us_?" he looked at Harry.

"Yes, us.. having spent this time together, and all that", Harry said, very self conscious. There was a pause following Harry's statement. Malfoy looked at Harry, and then made his way down to the ground, landing smoothly and starting to walk away. Harry followed him and grabbed his arm.

"Potter, what do you think we are?" Malfoy said, looking like he felt sorry for the black haired boy.

Harry stared at him, not knowing what to make of that question at first. He was so confused with Malfoy's intentions, he could never make the boy out and understand what he wanted. He retorted with a small anger growing in his chest.

"Why do you want to spend time with me now? Is it because you didn't feel like it until now, or is it because it's holiday and you wouldn't have to risk anyone seeing you with me? Or do you like to feed on me being alone too, hoping it will make you feel less like a wreck?" Harry asked angrily, making the other boy take a few steps away from him.

"Wh-what?"

"Just answer me", he demanded.

"We can't be friends, Potter. For of obvious reasons." Malfoy looked away.

"But you said it yourself, that doesn't matter, not here." Harry was starting to sound desperate, and he almost felt a little desperate to prove the boy wrong.

"Words travel, rumours get exaggerated. My father..", the fair haired boy rambled.

"I don't care about him. I don't care about it. I want you to give me a reasonable explanation of why you won't just let go of your charade and just be you."

"Because then I'll lose. I can't fall under the pressure and make faults like these. I won't have that. I won't let them win."

"Who are _them_?" Harry asked, trying to get eye contact.

"Everyone", was the answer, and Malfoy took a deep breath followed by a sigh that Harry could feel in his own chest. It was the breathing of a heavy mind.

"Draco.." he began to say, but the other boy just turned around and walked away from him.


End file.
